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b 21 20
10
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Last year in a post entitled “I am an atheist“, I concretely outed myself as an atheist in an effort to put to (digital) paper feelings I’ve had for a long time about religion. It sparked a bit of discussion, and led to a few mentions of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I always meant to get back to this and post something about the Church of the FSM (“today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion”), but it wasn’t until seeing the badge on new-dad Peter’s site that it reminded me to do so (thanks Peter, and congratz…
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c 05 20
09
Church Canceled Due To Lack Of God
God I love the Onion.
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p 09 20
09
Button sexes it up post de-sexing
I don’t buy into those little doggie jackets that every anthropomorphizing pet owner drools over. In fact, I’d say I’m outright hostile to the idea of breeding a dog to look like a toy and then playing dress-up with it.
That said, I think I’ve stumbled on a goldmine:
The Canine Call-girl Outfit®
Is your pup more tramp than lady? Is she man’s best friend with benefits? Does she know how to wag that piece of tail? Well then The Canine Call-girl Outfit® is exactly what she needs!
This full-body mesh is available in a multitude of monochromatic colours
…
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n 25 20
09
Happy Niu Year To All
Well, once again it is Chinese New Year’s Eve (this’ll be my forth – and I’ve still yet to find a good pair of earplugs).
We should be celebrating tonight with some newcommers to China, and that’s always fun. Maggie’s got pots a bubblin’, cooking up some good dongbei food and we’ll be heading downtown to get drunk and blow shit up a bit later on. Fingers-crossed that tomorrow I still have fingers to cross.
A very happy 牛 year to all!
And as I always like to leave a year with a laugh:
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n 21 20
09
A farewell to George W. Bush – Hilarious
This was a little clip collection that The Hour, easily one of the best shows put out by CBC – and that most of the content is available online makes it super awesome for an expat like me:
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v 09 20
08
Oh, you’re talking about the country of Africa
Even after defeat, Governor Sarah Palin continues to make news – and not in regards to a preemptive 2012 bid like some had assumed, but as (always) being a complete idiot.
A number of unnamed McCain campaign aides have come out since the Republican defeat Tuesday anonymously criticizing that:
- She had $150,000 spent on her clothes by the RNC
- She was fooled by a Canadian comedian pretending to be the French president
- She didn’t know Africa was a continent, not a country
- She did not know which countries were covered by the North American Free Trade Agreement
In…
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v 03 20
08
Palin takes prank call from fake French leader
The Masked Avengers, a Canadian comedy duo, pretend to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy in a phone conversation with Sarah Palin. Tabernack!
Some days my countrymen, yes even the Quebecois, make me entirely proud to be a Canuck 
. Need further proof where Canadians stand on jokes made about the jokiest of all White House contenders? The Globe and Mail, one of the largest and most respected newspapers in Canada, ran the entire transcript of the prank.
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t 24 20
08
The way to settle it – Obama-McCain Dance-off!
In the words of Eric, whom I scooped this from, “this is, hands down, one of the best things I have ever seen in my life.”
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p 26 20
08
Sexy Bitch
Addie just recently went into heat for the first time (snuck up on us – we were still thinking she was just a puppy). For anyone that’s never had a (ahem) bitch in heat, it can be a bit messy. To combat this we’ve employed a couple pairs of old undies – much to our amusement.
She’s surprisingly good natured about the whole thing and doesn’t seem to pay hardly any attention to her sexy panties. In a week or so when the bleeding stops and the “come get me boys!” starts, we’re betting that might change.…
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g 15 20
08
They’re going to bring out their dragons…
I’ve been up to my elbows all week polishing up Lost Laowai in both design and features, and so haven’t had much chance to update on here.
However, it’s officially the weekend, and I’m in the mood for some Olympic-sized funnies:
The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap?
Every time she says that “Oh, they’re going to wait until it gets dark, and they’re going to bring out their dragons” I pee a little.
Even more hilarious is that some couChinesegh folks on the YouTube page seem to think that ONN = CNN and missed that this is…
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n 24 20
08
George Carlin expires ‘like a magazine subscription’
George, you paved the way for some of my favourite socially and politically charged comedians. You showed me just how versatile a word can be. And, you gave substance to TheHumanaught.com’s #1 visited post.
“Older” sounds a little better than “old,” doesn’t it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer … I’m getting old. And it’s OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die — I’ll ‘pass away.’ Or I’ll ‘expire,’ like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call
…
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r 30 20
08
Humanaughtahaironmyhead
So, spring is in the air in lovely Suzhou. Yes – our two weeks of paradise have arrived, and just in time for the droves of tourists looking to capture a picture of the city’s tranquil gardens (which are overflowing with tourists looking to capture a picture of the city’s tranquil gardens).
Spring always stirs in me a desire for change. Perhaps a remnant of my primordial past, or just the fact that I spend most of my days indoors with a slowly dwindling connection to the outside world…
Whatever the reason:
Before: Grizzly Adams
…
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r 15 20
08
A little acceptance we could all learn from
My mom sent me the following in an e-mail, and I couldn’t help but wonder: If the three of them can get along without killing one another, what are the Tibetans, Hans and Uighurs doing wrong? (or the Christians, Jews and Muslims for that matter).
This is a video of a homeless man in Santa Barbara and his pets. They work State Street every week for donations. The animals are pretty well fed and are mellow. They are a family. The man who owns them rigged a harness up for his cat so she wouldn’t have to walk so much…
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r 07 20
08
George W Bush Sewage Plant
Presidential memorials are something essential to a nation that has fathered some of the most influential leaders the world has ever known. In this small way we are able to remember them and the value they added to our great globe during their term in office.
On that note, some rather fantastic news from the SFist (the Shanghaiist’s West-side cousin, to the east):
Looking to honor the forty-third President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, the recently formed Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is looking to change the name of the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment
…
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r 03 20
08
Frozen Improv in Shanghai
Alright, this is way late, but was just too cool not to mention.
About a month ago in Shanghai a group inspired by Improv Everywhere created a “scene” in front of the Sofitel on Shanghai’s Nanjing Rd.
At a set time the group of random folks from a number of nationalities stopped and froze in place for five minutes, causing quite a crowd of onlookers to grow around them. Despite getting away with two “freezings”, the group was amicably told by police that technically they couldn’t continue as it was against Chinese law (?? – if freezing in place…
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r 01 20
08
Panda Meat Consultant
Well, the cat’s out of the bag. Professor Lonnie B. Hodge, a dear “friend” of mine has outed me and my matchmaker ambitions on his blog.
As he’s helping me get my new Bag A Canuck!™ e-book business off the ground, I figured I should return the favour and officially announce his latest endeavor – Lonnie B. Hodge’s Panda Meat Emporium.
The business specializes in delivering panda meat, or Peef™, to an international market hungry for this rare delicacy. As many know, Lonnie is an award-winning poet. But don’t let his…
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b 19 20
08
Puppy Power in the PRC Part II
Well, it’s the end of day three with the puppy and I dare say there’s not a place she hasn’t marked with a little bit of puppy love.
The physics of a puppy astound me. I swear more comes out of her than goes in.
But for every ounce of patience she takes from me, she gains back points from the fact that she can be entertained for 10 minutes just by putting a towel over her head (she’s trying to navigate her way out as I type).
Just thought I’d post a photo that pretty much sums up my…
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p 26 20
07
In Love & Hate of Chinese Supermarkets
Hey, so I’ve started a new Group Writing Project over at Lost Laowai called China: Love It Hate It.
Essentially I’m asking China bloggers (not at all limited to English-speaking bloggers) to chime in and sound off on what they both love and hate about China. The post can be written in any form or with any unique twist – the only thing I ask is that it be balanced.
The idea for the project comes out of showing that it’s ok to have divided feelings about China. You don’t have to be an extrapohater or an…
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p 15 20
07
Has anyone seen my face?
One of the things I like about Chinese is that it tends to be quite module-like. There are lots of little structures that you can just modify with new nouns, adjectives or what have you, to create entirely new meanings.
A couple examples:
越 … 越 …
越(来)越(好) | yuè lái yuè hǎo | better and better (lit. more come more good)
越(有钱)越(好) | yuè yǒu qián yuè hǎo | the more money the better (lit. more have money, more good)
又 … 又 …
又(闷)又(热) | yòu mēn yòu rè | stuffy and hot
又(懒)又(馋) | yòu…
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l 27 20
07
Crushed by a Chinese meatball
I’m just too sad to post today. I’m calling into question even continuing with this blog as I have it on good authority that it sucks.
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AJB: 
Ping Pong: 
ccddmj: 
ji xiang: 
